i've not done anything on here in quite some time.
sad times.

I've been writing, but not a lot.
i've had things that i've gone through that should be written about
like being in an abusive relationship for 6 months, how that changed me, altered me, made me numb and apathetic to anyone and anything. but it only did that temporarily. or maybe its because i went and got help? and came to peace with the unpleasant portion of my life that was half a year with one person.

it was my first real in person physical relationship.
first time for everything
and the first one turns out to be the best and the worst. so much to think on.
it was good in that it taught me a lot.
which is a plus.
it was bad in that it definitely is something i wont ever be able to forget, nor will i be able to be with anyone that has any of the attributes he had, or showed me.

most of it was a lie!
ugh!

a 6 month lie.
i guess thats better than like a 5 year lie or a lifetime long lie.


so much there. yet so much gone.